Taking a break from crafting today to talk about the special men in our lives. The ones that support us in all that we do (including this blog). We wanted to share just 10 simple ways you could show your husband you love him. They are so easy! They don’t require any materials or even a trip to the store. Read through them and as your go throughout your day and one idea pops into your head, try it. Often times, we get so caught up in the day to day (we know life gets busy) we forget to nurture our relationship with our spouse. We get comfy and the sweet things we used to do for each other become distant memories. We challenge you to show your husband you love him today (and tell him).
1| Call or text him to let him know you are thinking about him. Often times my text will read “I love you.” Just three small words. To my husband it says, the children and I are alive and well and I am thinking about how lucky I am to have you. The other day, I had a huge Costco trip. My basket was spilling over and as I went to swipe my card, my heart filled with gratitude. I felt so blessed to have a hard working man as my companion. That feeling was a great prompt to shoot him text to let him know his hard work doesn’t go unnoticed.
2| Serve him. I honestly believe the more you serve your spouse, the more you will love him. Make him breakfast or rub his feet after a long day. The more you serve the person you love, the less time you have to think about yourself.
3| Slip a love note in his pocket/lunch/briefcase. Jot down just how much you love him and stick it somewhere he’ll see it later on.
4| Take him lunch. Surprise him with a homemade lunch and treat or swing by his favorite place for something to go. A yummy lunch that he wasn’t expecting is a sure way to his heart.
5| Keep your home tidy. If you are blessed to stay at home with your children while your husband works, do your best to make your home a place that’s welcoming. Round up the children a few minutes before he’s to arrive home from work and tidy up.
6| Welcome him home with a kiss. Simple and easy. Not only will he love this but your children will too.
7| Pray for him. Not only for his safe keeping but also his stresses, worries and blessings.
8| Be his cheerleader. Encourage him. Talk nicely about him to friends and family and especially your children.
9| When you walk by him, reach out and touch him.
10| Ask him how his day was and then listen.
We would love to hear any ideas or suggestions so feel free to share them with us in the comments!
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These are great ideas…simple too! Thank you for the reminder that demonstrations of love don’t have to cost much more than time, attention and thoughtfulness.
I too felt very grateful for a full grocery cart and staying home with my children, not having to work at that time in their lives.
We greeted my husband when he came home and than gave him 30 minutes of quiet time.
No complaints about the day, no children running crazy, no dishwasher running, no washer or dryer running… A cold drink, a comfortable chair, a good magazine or newspaper.
He appreciated this so much. Then it was time to help with homework, bath time and anything else needed. What you give, you get back!
Married 33 years.
Very nice, and such a simple task!
Many are wonderful ideas. Sometimes simple things or gestures are better than big shiny presents. But I have to defend #2. I was with you until the last sentence. If I take care of myself, I’m free to care for my husband and kids. I think as moms we need to occasionally give ourselves permission to care for ourselves too. Have a beautiful weekend!
SERVE! hilarious.
I am with u!!
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To all the haters of this article: How long have you been married? With every snide remark, I see many women who have obviously been hurt. The best marriages use most of these ideas in this article. If you aren’t shooting for the best, then why even comment here? Something in the title drew you here, it wasn’t an accident. You’re here. You’ve read it. If it doesn’t inspire you…MOVE ON.
Wow that’s so 1950’s of you. Incidentally I have been married 23 yrs but I definitely do not “serve” my husband we help each other give me a break it’s 2019 not 1952 !
Thank you so much-these are right on-and yes, we can serve our husbands! Love is thinking about others and their needs.
Ugh. This post makes me cringe. Serve him? Keep your home tidy for him? Rub his feet? Slip him love notes? Are you living in the 1950s? This is the same role/crapola the media–and a male-dominated society stuffed down women’s throats in the 1950s, and the same crapola ultra-conservative religions (still male-dominated) also have been stuffing down women’s throats/brainwashing them for centuries. What’s next on your agenda? Encourage women to cover themselves completely when out in public? I see based on at least one response above, that I’m not the only woman who is flabergasted by this post.
Totally agree with you! Come on ladies, you should be getting paid for doing all that! Lol!!!
The writer clearly hates women. The rub your feet part had me ROFL.
If you have a great husband, these suggestions will be fun to do for him and when he starts returning the favor, you be pleasantly surprised.
What suggestions do you have for showing your significant other you love and care about them?
Oh hell no!!
This post is crazy! Bring him lunch? Kind of hard to do when you’re working. That’s right… I went to post-secondary for 7 years so I could have a career.
Ive been married 20+ years.
Hilarious. You should title this “10 simple rules to ensure your husband doesn’t divorce you and force you to get a job.”
Bingo
I think I just threw up in my mouth. Maybe I should pack that for my husband’s lunch.
Are you trippin? Because no sane woman would advocate this bull crap.
I’m going to slip my husband a note that says, the baby’s not yours.”
HAHAHAHAHA You are awesome!!!!
The next time I’m shopping I’m going to call my husband and tell him I just spent $7,000 on a pair of Loubottins. Love you, honey!
Are you related to the Duggar family? They live in la la land, too.
Thank you for this post! I need a reminder to make sure my husband knows I love him, in amongst the daily demands of young children and a household.
We will be celebrating our 41st Anniversary Mar. 7. Thank you for this post–it is a great reminder that those little things are what counts.
Happy Anniversary Judy!! 41 years… that just amazing. 🙂
This is a fantastic reminder of how little it takes to make our husbands feel appreciated! (And vice versa). Some things are physically not possible for me since both my husband and I work full time outside our home and share the dropping off/picking up of kids.
These guidelines work great for both of us, though. I love to serve him…picking up his favorite snack when I’m grocery shopping, cooking a meal I know he likes or pouring his drink for him. This is far from antiquated and just simple acts of love!! Why? Because he responds in kind. While I am cooking, he changes the babies and gets the table set. While I bathe the kids, he gets all their pajamas ready, dresses them and tries their hair. Every night he rubs my feet.
Should a woman SLAVE over her husband? NO! But the women that think this list is outdated or unfair to women are also only thinking of women. They aren’t thinking of a loving relationship, of the tenderness and appreciation we as humans seek and need to give.
I find the long-time happily married couples agree with these lists…while those that scoff usually end up divorced, unhappy, single, challenging signs of affection, searching for the elusive “Mr. Right”
I totally agree. I’ve been married 23 years, and my husband and I both “serve” each other. We have never called it “serving,” though. It all comes down to treating people with love and respect, do unto others…. etc. I’d hate to live in a marriage where we were each only about ourselves. The more you give, the more you receive. The more thankful you are, the happier you are. I imagine the women who are posting their negative comments as unhappy, ungrateful people. They have got to be either single or unhappily married. If you love someone, you WANT to show your love and do things for them. When that is absent, the intimacy fades.
I think this article is a great reminder— you reap what you sew.
I agree! I’ve done all of these things for my husband over our 20 years of marriage and three kids! We work as a team with everything and I loved doing this thing for him! He’s my best friend and I hope to be able to continue doing nice things for him. I’m suffering from a liver disease and my husband has made me feel so loved and cared for during this time and I know its comes from our caring relationship we created early on, to make each other smile by doing the little things in life for each other.
Well put – My sentiments exactly. If these women are married and end up divorced would they still stand by their “why should I serve?” Mantra? Self-centeredness is a big problem these days and largely why there are so many divorces. Not saying the onus is entirely on the women but if we at least try to show some love and appreciation it will go a long way to a successful marriage or repairing a damaged one.
Yess!! So right!! 🙂 totally agree with you.
I agree. I am so proud to be say I was married to my best friend for 26yrs before he died. I would give ANYTHING to have the opportunity to show him my love again. I imagine this comment will make some of the negative commenters want to throw up. Sad sad world our children live in.
I am saddened to see negative comments on this post. When we love someone we want to help them and we want them to be happy. Serving someone does not put you below them. It draws us closer to them. In a healthy relationship, your husband would then also do things for you. That is how a relationship works. If that means I am living in lala land, I guess I am happy to be there. This post is a great reminder to slow down and take the time to show those around us we love them. Thank you.
Kelle I’m very happy in lala land too! I agree the negative posts mad me sad. It’s so important our children see a husband and wife loving and nurturing each other. As a stay at home mom I am greatful that I have a husband who works hard to provide so I can enjoy these years w our kids. I want him to feel loved and appreciated.
What both Kelle and Kristy said. My husband works his butt off at work, at a VERY intellectually challenging job with long hours. I stay home. Why should I work so much less hard and not even keep a tidy home? I don’t understand those balking at that? And serve your husband? Of course we should, just as they should serve us wives! I love my husband and want him to be a happy person who feels loved…I think these 10 suggestions are wonderful, even the rubbing of his feet! Great post!
I think this is a beautiful list. I don’t think there is anything wrong with wanting to dote on someone you love – you SHOULD. And they should want to dote on you back, this list never said anything about you being the only one to show how much you love. 🙂 I think this is just a super sweet list of ideas on how to show your love. If you were the only one showing your appreciation, this would be degrading, but I think it’s safe to say that anyone with a LICK of sense assumes that it goes both ways.
I think people are so quick to defend WELL WE AREN’T FROM THE FIFTIES ANYMORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! that they forget that taking care of someone doesn’t have to make you their servant. 😛 Did your mother ever get you a glass of water when you were thirsty? Do you ever sacrifice your own time to spend time with your friends when they’re sad and lonely? Was your mother your servant, are you your friend’s servant? STOP being so quick to react to something you think is wrong and consider why it’s wrong – you’re **hurting feminism more by trying to be so feminist and by saying that it is WRONG to want to take care of and pamper someone a bit**. You just need to expect it to go both ways. You rub his feet when he’s been on his feet all day and needs to relax, he rubs your back when you’re sore and stressed. You pack his lunch, he brings home a dinner when you’re tired and don’t want to cook.
Remember, there’s no reason why this can’t all be applied to your wife if she works and you stay home to care for the house and kids.
I think this would have been more well received if it had been phrased in a way that either spouse could read it. The way this is written, it seems to assume a stay at home mom/wife. I’m neither, instead a working wife with no kids. I have more than one friend where their husband is the stay at home parent. Half of these points would sound silly/stupid to those ladies (and myself).
While I get the gist of the article, which has very good intentions, it could have been less one-sided.
Exactly! I felt like I couldn’t relate to this list because I am a working wife/mom. There is nothing wrong with showing love to your spouse but it’s not feasible for me to “make sure the house is clean” when he gets home before me…… While I think the point of showing your spouse love and appreciation has merit, this list didn’t work for me.
Thank you for the reminders. When my husband and i started to treat each other in some of the ways that were mentioned that was when our marriage turned around. Marriage is giving 100% or yourself !00% of the time. It is about commitment and putting their needs in front of your own. That goes both ways! Thanks for the excellent blog post. Maybe if more people viewed marriage this way we would have less divorce, less crime, and a more stable country for our children to grow up in! My husband and I are celebrating 20 years with both of us working and having 4 kids. What never changes is that our relationship comes first!
After reading the negative comments I went back and read the list again to see what the fuss was all about. I have been a stay home mom, my husband and I have both worked, I supported both of us while he was in graduate school. Employment status aside, we have always done all of the things on the list! Everyone wants to feel cared for and appreciated, that goes both ways. Maybe it could have been titled 10 Simple Ways to Show Your Partner You Love Them!
28 years and going strong❤️
So many negative comments. If something doesn’t apply to you, skip it and move on with your life.
(BTW Modern Feminists… how’s that “women should have to work” thing doing for you? Record unemployment, millions struggling to pay rent. Children suffering from abandonment because both parents are working multiple jobs. We need more women nurturing at home, as many as are blessed to be able to afford it. I’m not saying that women shouldn’t work but the peer-pressure to get a career is out of control. Things just run more smoothly when someone is home to manage things at home and not trying to cram it all in after dinner.)
As a stay at home mom I really appreciate this post. It reminds me to do all the loving and nurturing things that came naturally as an expression of my love which brought us closer when we were first together. When you show affection your male partner is much more likely to reciprocate and be romantic, attentive, and even serve you back. Besides, I like to do all the little things that caused him to notice me in the first place.
DON’T let your marriage grow stale and boring!
My husband also does this for me. We both work full time and I hear on a regular basis from his co-workers how much he brags about me and obviously loves me. It makes me very happy to do this for him and after 23 years together I still get butterflies inside when I see him.
Very good advice . Thank you !
Does this go both ways? Although this was written with good intentions, I assume, it seems incredibly single minded. Given 6/10 of these suggestions are for the home where the woman stays home and the man works, 1/10 is solely religious and the last 3/10 could be commandeered into any agenda one is siding with. I am a woman. I am the sole provider for a household with a husband and 2 growing children. In my husbands opinion I am responsible for being the “man” (I work 75-90 hours/week with 12-18 hour shifts) along with being June Cleaver who cooks and cleans and raises the children AND most importantly, be his whore to serve his whims wherever and whenever he sees fit. So I ask you, in my situation: does your subservient list to keep your husband happy make sense or do you have an alternative list that may apply to not only my household but the countless other homes in America who no longer fit into the 1950s cookie cutter mold you have so clearly identified with?
Ahmm … Yes, I am blessed, BUT, it is “They” who are blessed to have me at home. If I was “working” for someone else, then everyone would have to pitch in at home! It would change everything!
I love this post!!! Yes serve him, be compassionate and show caring gestures towards your husband…. You women who are throwing up in your mouth attitude- no wonder there is such s divorce rate in this country and our youth grow up to have no respect! You women ( pigs ) are pitiful…
Thank you for reminding us to slow down and remember our husbands ❤️
This is a wonderful post! What a great reminder for any healthy relationship! Love is an unselfish, commitment. Love is thinking of others before thinking of yourself and being concerned for your spouses well-being and happiness. This is paramount to a successful, healthy marriage as you so accurately pointed out. When we take the focus off of ourselves and put it in others, even we are refreshed. It’s better to give than to receive. Treat others as you want to be treated. A healthy relationship is a giving relationship and is the guestures are often reciprocated, although that shouldn’t be the motivation for doing something nice to others. Love = Patient ~ Kind ~
Giving ~ Humble ~ Flexible ~ Truthful ~ not arrogant ~ not rude ~ bears all things ~ 1Cor 13 (paraphrased)
Jesus. really? “…My basket was spilling over and as I went to swipe my card, my heart filled with gratitude. …” really???? You love him because he gives you money? That’s love?
I’ve my own credit cards. I don’t need to feel gratitude towards my husband because i’m staying home with my kid and he let me uses his credit card!!!
I laughed so hard when I read this and then I cringed! Common, both I and my husband are working! both of us are getting well paid. Both of us are taking care of our child (and yes, my mum who by the way is retired, is helping us). We both tell each other ‘i love you’ through sms, email, notes….
Yes I cook for my husband which is perfectly normal and i love cooking! He’s doing the dishes, because he knows how much i hate it! If i wake up in the middle of night with a real problem he never complains and goes buying whatever is needed. He was next to me when i gave birth to our son, He stayed with me when i went through an operation and i did the same for him.
BUT, he never expects me to be a slave for him. I never expect him to be the only one working and supporting all of us. This is bull. To be blessed to stay at home!!!! Really!!!
Being married means working together, helping each other, supporting each other, being there one for each other, showing affection for each other!
And by the way, showed this post to my husband. he felt offended! he told me he got married not bought a slave 😀
Sadly, the only thing some folks read was “slave” or “anti-woman”. I am a professional woman and see absolutely nothing wrong with the list. I like doing for the man I love. I don’t consider it being a slave since I am not being forced to do it. You serve your kids don’t you? It’s the same principle. Yes, he can serve himself and I can serve myself but it’s a matter of simply giving him a plate of food out of the goodness of the gesture. If you see it as being a slave or living in the 1950’s, then there’s a bigger issue with how you view your relationship and not the list itself. Either way, I found the list nothing less than what I do. The “all about me” attitude does not work with a two person relationship.
I love these! One that I would add is 2 make time for him and his friend. My husband loves to be social but is so hard-working that in his free time he spends it with us and then misses his friends. I’m trying to plan a night out for him and his friends so he doesn’t have to think so hard about it, or have unnecessary guilt for focusing on his friendship and not us for an evening 🙂
It’s crazy to me how quick some women jump to attack other women. First of all, if you don’t like the post or it doesn’t apply to you – just move on. Secondly, I am the working parent in my household – with my husband as the stay at home dad. He does an amazing job with the house, and meals and the kids. We just work it a little different – when I walk through the door, he kisses me and hugs me -and then takes my bags from me as he asks me about my day. He prepares dinner, but I help him serve it to the kids – sometimes I even serve him the dinner that he made. I don’t read the word “serve” and somehow change that to “slave” in my head – so I’m totally okay with it. I rub his feet at night – he loves it. I don’t like my feet touched, but he woul reciprocate – no doubt. He does most of the shopping – but sometimes I like to go pick out my own stuff…so I take the list from him and stop after work.
Not everything on this list applies to everyone – but I am sure there are several that can apply to ANYONE.
In my opinion – it’s all a give and take. As long as you both love and respect the other – everyone is happy. This list is a great reminder of some of the things you can do to show how you feel about him – instead of assuming he knows. Most of these things take but a minute, and very little effort when you’re doing it because you WANT to – when you’re doing it because making him feel good, makes you feel good.
IF doing any of these things for the man you love – whether he pays the bills or you pay the bills or you share the bills – feels like a chore -then you probably need to re-evaluate the kind of relationship you’re in. It shouldn’t feel like a chore, or like you’re catapulting back to the ’50’s to reach out and touch your husband, or leave him a love note, or pick up his favorite sandwich once in a while. . . it should feel like caring for what’s yours. Unless that’s not what your into. 😉
I smiled as I read this because I have seen AMAZING results in my marriage as I have put many of these things into practice over the last few months. This isn’t about woman’s rights, regression or oppression. Perhaps it’s okay that we have different views on this topic. For me it’s about intimacy. Creating a deep, meaningful, safe and loving relationship with my husband. It’s about mutual respect, mutual responsibility sharing and knowing that no matter what life throws at us we are in this together. It’s about happiness. Service, kindness, letting him know I think of him and am grateful for him are exactly the kinds of things that have created a marriage we are both enjoying. When one of us makes a thoughtful effort the other reciprocates. Marriage is all about give and take. If you scoff at these simple practices maybe you just don’t understand the level of intimacy they can create. Maybe you are perfectly content with a different kind of marriage. I feel the opposite of opressed. My husband willingly serves our family by helping with laundry, dishes, kid stuff, you name it. For me this was a great read and great reminder. Thank you!
Good lord, the writers and some readers of this blog apparently drank the purple kool-aid and have been transformed by men and ultra conservative religious leaders (also men–surprise, surprise) into Stepford wives. And the saddest part of this situation is that they don’t see how the messages men have been drilling into their heads for centuries were meant to control women, keep them in subservient roles, and manipulate them. Marriage is becoming increasingly obsolete as more young women take back their power and realize that they don’t need a husband to be happy or for financial security and they don’t have to serve or be subservient to anyone.
Sadly the touching and kissing “goals” are not an option for me. My husband struggles to show affection and doesn’t like to be randomly touched. I work outside the home, and sometimes pack his lunch and add a love note ( that is mostly ignored). The housework should be shared because we both work, I try to tidy up a little between the time I get home and he gets home but it is hard work to make a meal and clean. I’m trying to declutter our home to make it easier to clean up at night so that when we return home the house is clean.
Awesome ideas, love em. My husband is a commercial fisherman scalloper. He is out at sea between 5 days to 18 days. On the day he leaves I’ll slip a card in one of his personal bags. It usually works out that after a hard stressful watch he finds it & gives him an extra boost to get thru that trip.
This list caught my eye. I read it, thought I could definitely use these ideas, then read the negative comments. I can see where this list might be geared more towards a stay at home mom and somewhat old fashioned thinking. But then I thought the writer made this list knowing that if you do these things, the actions will most likely be reciprocated to benefit everyone! I do a lot of these with my kids even. Or your sister, or mother (think of someone other than your husband if you are feeling like it’s one-sided) This list is intended to make you feel good about yourself. Not to degrade anyone by putting your husband on a pedestal or yourself beneath him in any way.
Thank You for this post!The world needs more lovers like you awesome lady😊
This is a joke, right? Right?! Please..?
Well, I’ve been married to my Doctor husband for 20 years and I do all of the above all the time except rubbing the feet–except I have thought it would be nice to do do it for him…but he does so much more for me–he beats me at honoring me, respecting me and loving me–so much so I get a little embarrassed. this is basic loving another person. So, whats the alternative? Abandoning him?
I do most of this post for my husband and I am very blessed and happy to say that what I get in return is much more than this😉 Cheers to a lovely, great, wonderful marriage. According to most of the negative comments, I see why the divorce rate is so high and growing and so many kids are growing up in single parent homes. That’s so sad but when you take God out of the home then this is what you get. I love the post!! Keep encouraging young married couples and maybe the divorce rate will go back down! 😉
Ladies leaving crappy replies: what the heck is wrong with you??? Your generation has a freaking screw loose… Why don’t you try at least two of the 10 things listed above for just a week (I would suggest keeping your house clean and asking about his day and then REALLY listening) and and see how your man (IF YOU EVEN HAVE ONE) reacts. You get A LOT more flies with honey than you do with vinegar. You’re all into yourselves and your ugly duck-faced selfies and you make me puke. You’re all fat and lazy, no wonder your man runs off and screws around with anything that pays him even the slightest bit of attention – you have no one to blame but yourselves you self centered-egocentric-narcissistic bitches. Just because a man sleeps with you and you get pregnant doesn’t mean you’re a prize.
Now take that and study on it for a while.
You are a man, right? You’re post is more disgusting the the op
I must admit to being shocked by the negativity surrounding this post. I would have given anything to have spent my children’s growing up years at home with them and being a class mother etc. I missed so much having to work 50 and 60 hour weeks. Also, my husband is now disabled and unable to work related to severe intractable seizures. However, he still cooks dinner most nights and I do the dishes. I had to go out of town recently and when i returned home, I had some pretty roses near my bed. So thoughtful of him. Please think about what is important, and I mean not just your priorities, but your kid’s needs as well. As a mother whose children love and respect me for working hard as they were growing up, I have raised them to consider how they grew up as latch key kids and what they really want for their children. As a result, my son’s lovely wife stays home with my beautiful granddaughter. The feminist movement was not started so that every woman started working outside the home. It was started so that women had a CHOICE! You are NOT ENLIGHTENED if you denigrate someone’s choice. When you do that YOU become the oppressor.
Wow. Great comment! 🙂 I especially loved the last two sentences. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.
Wow! I am saddened to see such negative comments. After almost 30 years of marriage I am here to tell you these things work. Our kids are long gone and have families of their own and we are still happy together. We do these things for each other. We show our love in gentle and loving ways. I have been the main provider and he did these for me. When I was a stay at home mom I did these things for him. We share the duties in our retirement. It was the (and is) these (and so much more) that make us happily married even now. Love is giving.
I’m afraid “our generation” is struggling with too much selfishness in their marriages. The key is reciprocation. If your husband expects the house clean, dinner made and the kids quiet; he should help you achieve these goals. Make it an equitable balance – if you stay home, take more responsibility for this. if you both work, it should be more even. I worked hard at applying a similar list to my marriage and it left me feeling used and unappreciated because he would never reciprocate. I was left with no emotional resources left because all I did was give.
I’ve been married for 13 years and about to be divorced due to this exact issue. Sometimes, you can’t convince the other person that showing love and helping makes your family strong. But don’t be bitter about it. Take your lesson and apply it to your next relationship. I hope I can better communicate my needs and wants in a relationship early on, so the same bad habits I reinforced in this one don’t happen. (yep this situation was partially my fault too) . Love and be loved in return.
I guess I’m in la la land because I actually enjoy keeping the house tidy for my husband, I enjoy cooking meals he enjoys, I like hearing about how his day went. I do all these things because I like knowing I can make him happy and feel loved. He works so hard for our daughter and I. He lets me stay home and experience all her milestones with her. Doing these things for him is small in comparison to what he gives me, just because I make his meals, clean the house take care of our daughter, go grocery shopping doesn’t make me a slave stuck in the 50’s it makes his partner he takes care of the financial side and I take care of the domestic side and I’m proud of that. The people making all the negative comments will more then likely get divorced or already have been because they don’t know how to selflessly love another and that’s what it takes to make a marriage last
Well both my husband and I work! But my marriage is failing so I will take the advice of the happily married people in these comments and try the above points! What is the alternative anyway?!
So sad to see so many women slam this post. I read it because I don’t think I’m great at serving my husband. I get so caught up in the home, five kids, helping with our business, serving in the church youth group, baking for my new business, helping with friends, taking time to do the things I need to do for myself to stay sane…that I sometimes take him for granted because he is so good to just keep working at providing for the family and helping with the kids and home. I’ll tell him when I need more kudos because he, too, gets caught up with the stress of life. I looked up the “official” meaning of service and suggest those who equate service with slave do so too: Service =” an act of helpful activity; help; aid:to do someone a service. ” I see service in a religious way, as in serving those as Jesus did. But serving others has always (and still is) just been another way to say “being nice to others.” Civility. Appreciation. Words that seem to have lost their meaning to quite a few people.
Beautiful post! It’s a blessing and encouragement to hear about other women loving and nuturing their men as God intended us to. Marriage is one of life’s most precious gifts!
I have to say, after regrettably reading the comments, which I will refrain from in the future, that I am thankful for the freedom we have to post things such as this. Regardless of others distorted view of what marriage was created to be or their opinions of what is “politically correct”.
Your speaking truth, so keep on keepin’ on, women such as myself are blessed by it!
I love my husband and I feel very lucky to have a found a partner in life. PARTNER-some days I carry the family load and other days he carries the weight of the family responsibilities. Rarely it’s 50/50 daily but overall it is.
We both love and appreciate each other and our roles in our family each day. He rubs my feet and I make him a cup of tea. No serving each other- just recognizing what the other needs at that moment in time and caring enough to do something to make the other’s life easier. That’s a balance. That’s doable. That is what leads to a loving caring relationship that will stand the test of time.
I Hope this brings some balance to the conversation.
This post is about showing the person you loved enough to marry, that you still have that love and compassion for them. Everyone commenting saying that there is something wrong with these things are the reason why marriages are ruined. If you don’t show the person you love that you love them then how do you expect to get it back. And for those who say you do these things and don’t get it in return, then you should realize that you are not where you should be and you can be happier with a change. And maybe “serving” the man is the wrong choice of word for some young and closed minded women, but come on, if he was told to do the same for you then you wouldn’t be complaining about it. Be selfless. Be loving and caring. Don’t get married if you can’t realize what it’s about.
This is a beautiful post! Men love us so well by providing for the family and allowing for a comfortable lifestyle. The man may be the head of the household, but the woman is the neck! She must support him and love him to hold up the most vital part of the family! LOVE this post!
You obviously drink purple kool aid by the gallons. The man is head of the household – PLEASE.
Love your ideas and thoughtfulness to the man you want to spend the rest of your life with. Keep up the creative ideas and writing!
If I give to my husband, he gives more back to me. It is not a chore or burden, it is L O V E. I can say this as we have been married 30 very happy years. My husband just retired at 58 due to the downtown in the oil industry. We are happy to face retirement together!
My mom once said: Your marriage is a treasure, guard it with your life!
I just felt compelled to comment…
Our generation of women (in their 20s & 30s) has been sold a lie. The lie was that “you don’t need a man” and the best thing you can do in life for yourself is your career. We have been told that men are “less than”, that they are simple minded, and that women can do anything and everything better…. so go get that degree and that job, girl! Men are there to satisfy your needs or entertain you for a bit… but don’t let the man keep you down!
Now what we have is a record divorce rate, unemployment, low-paying part-time jobs, unsatisfied women, unhappy, broken families, kids shuffled between two or more sets of parents… the list goes on. Many men have become lazy. Women are more stressed than ever, and expected to DO and BE everything… or they consider themselves failures. I mean, how often do we beat ourselves up? And then knock down other women when we think they aren’t doing it the right way?
I believe feminism in its nascent stages was about more opportunities for women. But it has morphed into something completely different now – – something full of bitterness, sarcasm, and even hate.
I think women should absolutely go for their goals and dreams. We should strive to be whatever we want to be. But remember, in the end, your career doesn’t hug you back. Your job can change. You can get fired. You can move. The economy might tank. And when you’re old and grey, chances are that you’ll be proud of your accomplishments… but what you’ll cling to are the ones you love, and who love you back.
And this is the secret that your college professors or your friends won’t tell you over happy hour. That if you find a great love, showing him that you love him, and sacrificing for him, and yes, even serving him, is a wonderful gift. It brings fulfillment and joy into your relationship and into your marriage. And most of the time, if he is a good man, he will reciprocate, and you’ll find that your relationship gets better and better. It should not be one-sided, it’s about nurturing and growing the love between you, and if you have kids, being an example to them of love, sharing, and sacrifice. YES it sounds cheesy…YES it sounds like June Cleaver when you say it. It’s because it’s totally out of the norm for most of us these days. If it weirds you out, maybe don’t say it… and just try it.
I know in my own life, the friends I’ve had who were at one time total feminists, were completely changed by allowing a good man into their lives. Their perspectives shifted, and now they are so happy. Their eyes are full of joy for finding someone they love and can share real love with. I know as someone who has worked to put my husband through med school and myself as an entrepreneur/designer, it’s been the greatest blessing recognizing that my husband is there for me, and we go through life as a team, facing challenges together and helping each other through the rough days.
Yes, it’s totally counter-cultural to serve and give sacrificially… But maybe that’s why it works. Lately our culture has been pretty whacked-out.
🙂 Great article.
I’m happily married for 23 years and living in la la land! Thank you for the article.
I am more than blessed to have a wonderful husband and more than happy to do my best to make him happy. I come from a broken home where my parents yelled at each other and abussed not only them but my brothers and I as well. My childhood was one that I don’t wish for anyone, ever.
When the time came for me to get married I gave it a good thought and saw that the man who wanted to spend the rest of his life with me was a good man, loving, caring and a hard working person. I didn’t knew what a good or healthy marriage was, never saw one, quite the opposite, so I reaserch for a book about it and found The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands. That’s how we started our marriage almost 13 years ago, me following the advice from a book. To this day I can tell you that feeding, caring and loving your husband works. We do fight but the fights are healthy and with a point, I’m far from perfect and make mistakes as my husband do so as well. My baby is about to be born any day now and the joy I have to give her a loving, caring and peaceful place to grow is beyond words.
It’s not 1950’s advise or brainwashing from a male religion, it’s simple acts of love and kindness that make your life, your husband’s life and your kid’s life a life worth living. I wont remember the expensive shoes, the diamond necklace or the shiny luxury car in my final moments on earth but I will remember the moments, the faces and the feelings shared with the most important persons in my life: my husband and, soon, my daughter.
My advice? Give yourself permission to be loving even if you never experience it, it doesn’t make you weak, it makes you happy.
I can’t help but notice that the women responding positively have quite a few years of marriage under their belt and are very happy. And they’re getting treated like queens. The results speak for themselves. Some who responded negatively bristled that these women must be “religious”. Why not take a clue from mankind’s oldest book with this wise advice “the wise woman builds up her house, but the foolish one tears it down with her own hands” Proverbs 14:1 been married 26 years and he adores me to the point of making me blush. Do I do the stuff on this list? YUP. I hear divorce is fun, try that.
I serve my husband lovingly everyday by making him healthful things to eat, giving him lots of hugs and kisses, and asking him how his day is going. In turn, he never forgets my birthday. (Before we dated, he couldn’t care less about Valentine’s Day. Now that we’re married, he looks forward to celebrating it with me and surprises me with something modest, yet thoughtful and sweet. He’s the best!
Thanks ladies, for this cute and sweet article.
(Some of t negative comments are sad to read and say more about those that post them than about you. Stay strong and keep up the good work!)
I’m happy to see that I do most of these things. However I do need to work more on keeping the house tidy. His mother is a regular Martha Stewart and so he’s used to growing up in a spic n’ span house. It stresses him out when he comes home and the house looks like a bomb went off. Lately, I have been trying to tidy more just before he comes home, but it’s something that I need to be better at.
I have to say, you hit the nail on the head. My husband and I both work and go to school, our lives are hectic, chaotic at best. We have to coordinate our schedules (for our kids) to the point where we sometimes don’t get to see each other often at all.
Although my husband works late into the night, I still welcome him home to a nice home-cooked meal, something he cherishes. It makes me happy to do it. I would never put the effort in to make a meal for just myself and I never have an appetite when my kids are awake, but the thought of my husband’s face when he walks in and smells something delicious is the best part of my day.
I can say just by reading the comments that you can’t please everyone. Smh. If you feel that you can’t relate to the post, then obviously it wasn’t meant for you. ALL posts that you read don’t have to be meant for you to relate to. Also, for the women who have a problem with it, move on! If you’re unhappy in your marriage, you don’t need to try to make others unhappy too! Misery loves company and it shows.
I think that the list is fine. I may not agree with every single one, but that’s just me, and I am not going to sit up here and Internet bully the writer for not writing it specifically for me.
I have been married for 10 years and together for 20. I am young, but I do understand that marriage takes work and it does need two people working together and for each other. If you don’t understand that, then why are you married? And why are you reading the article in the first place?
Wow! Some of these negative comments really make a person have to scratch their head…. I don’t see doing things for my guy as “serving him” or being his slave. I enjoy doing things to make him happy. But in return he does things that could be seen as “serving” too. He’s my plumber, my gardener, and sometimes my housekeeper. We both work and share responsibilities. I have to get up earlier than he does, so I wake him up every morning with a cup of fresh coffee. But if I need a refill, he jumps to do it for me. I have supper on the table when he gets home (almost) every night and he cleans the kitchen up. Loving someone is about doing things for them and taking care of them. It’s the selfish, immature hypocrite who thinks only of them self that doesn’t see the logic and love in this post.
Yes yes yes!!!! Girl I love you! I dont even know you but I am thankful that you posted it : ) in this day and age we don’t hear very much about serving your husband but that is how Christ loves us. He gave up his life for us. So that is the example we have of service. And the whole point of serving someone is to focus on what YOU can give them – NOT what they can give you : )
I just made a similar post on my blog titled “How to Fight in your marriage” https://weirdandfrugal.blogspot.com/2016/07/mom-mondays-how-to-fight-in-your.html?m=1
In regard to my attitude towards my husband I have learned: “Sometimes taking a step of action comes first, and then the change in attitude follows”
Just wanted to tell you thank you for this post and GREAT JOB!
Oh and I also wanted to let you know that you have a really annoying add that comes on the screen after you have been on the page about 3 minutes which turns the whole screen grey except for a small section where the ad is and you have to keep scrolling to find it and x out of it. Not sure why that happened but I just wanted to let you know! Other than that GREAT POST : )
thanks so much for letting us know. we’ll be sure to look into it! 🙂
That was simple sweet recipe for a healthy marriage…thank u…often in life’s hectic routine some simple things get over looked…thanks,again for d pointers…we r d ones who benefit out of it…god bless u….
Amen sister. You hit the nail on the head. Yess ladies we can be independent strong women but if u want to be treated as a queen then let your man know that hes the king. Yess rub his feet run him a bath and give him his dinner after a long day at work. Guess what . If hes a real man he will recognise how precious you are and when u need it he WILL reciprocate. My man has no issue massaging running me a tub and giving me a root rub or a massage when my monthly cramps are killing me. He cooks and cleans if im exhausted and he does this cos he knows he is my king my priority and his happiness is most important to me and our kids. Dont be so stuck on being strong that u forget to be the woman he needs. Be his queen of hearts and he will be the king not the joker.
These women are speaking from their experiences and just trying to encourage women to show their husbands love. I don’t understand the ugly comments. If you don’t want to live in a home with harmony and love then just move on. Why does she HAVE to write something specific to YOUR situation? Many women are complaining that this doesn’t apply to them, I guess you could say that if you’ve got bitterness in your marriage or a husband that simply doesn’t inspire you to do the stuff listed above that is a separate issue. This list would be helpful to a marriage where there is mutual respect and honor. If you chose to marry someone who doesn’t inspire you you can’t really hold it against the writer. :/ Either way there is hope, of course those particular marriages take a lot more work. I’m personally looking forward to trying some of these. My husband works har, honors me above everything and certainly deserves it!!
I think I get the real meaning of this post. Basically it’s saying to try to show your husband love, respect & how much you appreciate him. I believe in doing that because I think you will get back what you put into the relationship. If you don’t, then your with the wrong partner.